Day 1 – Celebrating Carole

Post author:josheava
Post published:March 4, 2019
Post category:Blog

Carole is a Mum of 3
Runs Lingua Lessons – a language school in Rossendale, Lancashire
Teaches French, Spanish and German

www.lingualessons.co.uk

www.learnfrenchonline.co.uk

I first met Carole through a mutual friend, who suggested I could help support her with admin and social media for a few hours a week. This was in 2017, and is now the reason I have my own business as a VA. We went to a Mums Enterprise Business Fair last April, and I discovered what a VA was, and that it basically covered exactly what I’d been been doing for her, I just hadn’t had the title.

The rest as they say, is history.

Carole is passionate about teaching, and giving her students the best teaching methods she can. She’s always coming up with great new ideas, runs online French tutoring via video calls, plus has been writing her own online video courses. This is also whilst raising three children and running a home.

It’s people like Carole who have inspired me to be able to do what I do, whilst also teaching me along the way.

Here's why Carole does what she does, and loves what she does, in her own words...

My name is Carole Palfreman. I have my own language school called “Lingua Lessons” in Rossendale. I was able to start it in 2014 when my youngest at the time started going to nursery. Having my own business means I can work round the children. I can still take them to school, pick them up and be involved in their school life. I can also take them to their out of school activities. It means I get the best of both worlds. I like the flexibility aspect of my work. Having my own business means my work is also very varied, which I like very much.

I teach people languages at their home or where they work, which means I get to see people during the day. I like human contact and I love seeing the progress people make. I also teach on Skype,

which has another dimension to it. It works really, as if I was sat next to the person/people I am teaching. Another teacher and I run language classes at St Peter’s Community Centre in Haslingden. It requires a lot of organisation but it’s nice to teach a whole class of people as well.

Click the links at the top of the page to go to Carole’s websites.

To follow her on Facebook go to: www.facebook.com/LinguaLessons/ or www.facebook.com/LearnFrenchWithCarole/

Time to Talk Mental Health – 7th February 2019

Post author:josheava
Post published:February 7, 2019
Post category:Uncategorized

As today is Time to Talk Mental Health, I felt this would be a good blog for me to write.

As someone who’s battled Depression and Anxiety for around 18 years, it’s a subject I’m more than familiar with. I’ve mostly kept on top of it by “talking”, to my husband, to friends and to counsellors. I also find writing stuff down helps, and just writing and being creative in general. So what better way to raise mental health awareness than to talk about it, write about it, blog about it...

I’ve read the statistics, as I’m sure you have, so I know how common it is in so many people’s lives. Most of you reading this will be able to relate in some way to what I’m saying. Whether you’re going through it, have been through it, or know someone who is.

The total confusion when depressions hits for the first time or the feeling of failure when you realise “it’s happening again!” The feeling of guilt when you see others with “real”, awful reasons to be depressed who seem strong and able to cope, while everything is going well in your life, yet even getting out of bed feels like the hardest thing in the world.

Sometimes it isn’t the big things in life that get to us the most. We go through bereavement, or a relationship breakdown, or a traumatic experience and people around us know about it. We feel it’s ok to be struggling, and people will check in.

It’s the silent, completely unseen mental health problems that I’m talking about. It’s when your kids are doing well, they’re sleeping at night, your marriage is good, you’ve got a lovely home, a car and a job you enjoy, but dropping your toast jam side down on the kitchen floor feels like the end of the world.

You don’t want to admit that you’re finding life hard, because from the outside it shouldn’t be. Yet every tiny thing that goes wrong feels like it’s crushing you from the inside out, and admitting it can feel like you’re the biggest moaner and failure you know!

You go on Facebook, post a photo of yourself with family or friends in the perfect setting, and wait for the likes to flood in. You feel good for about 5 minutes before scrolling through everyone else’s “perfect” photos and realising how unrealistic it all is! Sometimes there’s no concrete reason why you feel the way you do. Sometimes it literally just is an imbalance of chemicals.

Of course, outside influences do have an impact. Speaking as a woman and a mother, comparison is one of the worst contributors to our mental health problems. If we’re a working mum, we compare ourselves to the stay at home mum. If we’re a stay at home mum, we compare ourselves to the working mum, or another stay at home mum who’s doing it differently. If we’re single, we wish we had a family. If we’re struggling to have kids, we compare ourselves to those who have them. Am I spending enough time with my children? Should I be doing more? Am I not supporting my family enough if I’m not earning? Will my children be scarred for life because I am so tired from working and running a home that I snapped at them one too many times last week? There’s pressure from all sides, and that’s often just from ourselves, let alone others.

It’s hard to go anywhere without coming across an opinion about something. Everyone has opinions. Everyone wants to say their piece. Of course, there are things in this world that are obviously right and obviously wrong, but there are also opinions which aren’t facts, yet very often get treated as so; the ideas of someone who has a unique perspective. They’re going through what they’re going through. They’ve been through what they’ve been through. Their experience will never be the same as the next person’s.

What you’re going through can never be compared to anyone else. How you feel each day can never be compared to anybody else. We can all just live from our perspective and our experiences that shape us and grow us.

Since having our children my confidence has definitely dropped. A couple of years ago I never expected I’d have the confidence to be running my own business, but I’m doing it. Do I find it easy? Not always, no. Life isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s stronger to admit we need help, than to stay silent and pretend that everything’s fine.

If someone had told me 18 years ago when I’d just left home, some of the things I would go through, and some of the battles I’d face daily, I would never have thought I would write a public blog about it. I’ve always been a bottler… “I’m fine.” has come out of my mouth, or been shown on my face more times over the years than I can remember, when inside I’ve been crumbling. It becomes a default setting. Eventually, we have to get to a point where we’re honest with ourselves and with our loved ones.

Through all the ups and downs, I’ve pushed myself on the days I’ve felt strong enough, I’ve cried on the days I haven’t, I’ve opened up to others, some have understood, some haven’t. We live, we love, we learn from mistakes and we grow from each experience.

None of it’s easy, but we’re all doing our best, and that’s all we can do. We need to respect one another, help one another where we can, and never ever make someone feel like there’s something really wrong with them for the way they deal with a situation. We’ve all been made in a unique way. We all have something to give, and what we go through, good or bad, can be used to shape our future, as well as the future of others.

If you’re struggling, and nobody knows. Take that step. Tell someone. If you don’t feel you can tell friends or family, there are always places you can contact.

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/time-talk-day-2019

https://www.mind.org.uk

https://www.rethink.org

As mums/women in business, we are all in this together. I’ve joined so many amazing Facebook and Networking Groups where we can do just that, and it really helps. Showing vulnerablility is scary (trust me, I’m still in two minds about whether to publish this blog), but something you write about today could be the exact thing someone needs to hear right now. Even if it just shows them they’re not the only one going through it! Let’s support each other. Let’s raise awareness. It’s Time To Talk Mental Health.

*If you want me to talk to you more about my personal experiences or even put you in touch with counsellors I have used, I would be happy to help. Comment, or contact me through my Facebook page. Jo Shea VA

**I would like to take the time to thank my husband and my best friends, for always listening and supporting me. Although this is my business blog, I feel it would be wrong not to mention such a big part of my life when talking about such a personal subject to me, so I would also like to recognise my Christian faith in God and how He has a crucial part to play in my battles with mental health. I wouldn’t be writing this without any of it!