Day 4 – Celebrating Heather

Post author:josheava
Post published:March 7, 2019
Post category:Blog

Heather has an 11 year old son
Runs the MIBA Lancashire and North Manchester Networking Group
Has her own wellbeing project for children, Mindset and Me

www.mindsetandme.uk

I only met Heather recently. She not only runs MIBA Lancashire and North Manchester – which is basically a Mums in Business Association Networking Group, but she also has her own business called Mindset and Me.

MIBA is an absolutely amazing support for mums in business. The Facebook group is so interactive and has really helped boost my confidence. It’s informative and just an absolute encouragement to us Mums who are working from home, on our own, just giving us a sense of community and that we aren’t alone. She also runs regular networking meetings in various locations at times suitable for Mums to be able to attend (unlike a lot of networking groups which are at breakfast time – which is the busiest time of the day getting ready for school). It’s also less corporate, and for me that’s perfect because it would be completely out of my comfort zone. For me I just love that we can all just be mums, who have businesses, but we can be ourselves!

Mindset and me is a programme for children, which Heather started with journals, workbooks and cards that help children with their mindset and wellbeing. Heather works extremely hard on both projects, and is hugely successful. She has been through a lot in her life, and is proof that we are all capable of shining no matter what our circumstances may have said about us in the past, or even in the present. We can all do it!

Here's Heather in her own words:

Working from home and being a Mum in business means the absolute world and has been a complete lifesaver for many, many reasons. I tried so many different things for lots of years, but nothing worked. I didn’t feel I was doing what I was put here to do, what I was aligned to do.

I wanted more family time and I wanted to be here for my son Isaac, who has ADHD and is Autistic – the main reason I needed to work from home. We faught for a diagnosis for 5 years for him. I was called into school everyday, plus we had regular appointments, and because of this I came close to losing my job.

Then I discovered network marketing, which I could do much more flexibly. Isaac just wanted his mum there so much of the time, that it worked much better for us. I started off dropping my hours, then eventually I was working full time from home.

It was like a weight had lifted. I had been at rock bottom with depression and anxiety. It was a release for me, and my mental health improved drastically. I was happier and much more confident. I was here when Isaac came home from school, which was amazing because when he was younger he couldn’t go to after school clubs, because he wasn’t accepted there, and during school holidays he couldn’t go to holiday clubs, so we would be relying on family and taking unpaid holiday just to care for him.

Then I found my real passion. I joined MIBA – Mums in Business Association – which gave me the confidence to follow through the ideas and dreams that I had. What I’m aligned to do, here to do, and make a difference to others doing it.

That’s when I started Mindset and Me, which Isaac has been involved in too. It’s something we can do together and it’s an incredible feeling knowing I can do this from home, be there for him, whilst still fulfilling my dream.

To follow Heather on facebook go to www.facebook.com/mindsetandmeuk/ or to find out more about the Mums in Business Association in your area go to www.facebook.com/mumsinbusinessassociation/

Come back tomorrow for our final installment!

Day 2 – Celebrating Emily

Post author:josheava
Post published:March 5, 2019
Post category:Blog

Emily has a 6 year old daughter
Runs Whoop Fitness and Wellbeing
Aims to empower and inspire women to be healthy physically and mentally, and love the body they’re in!
Based in Surrey

www.whoopfitness.co.uk

Emily and I grew up in the same church, down in Surrey, and I have always admired her energy and passion for others. Now she has her own business doing just that! Inspiring others through fitness and wellbeing!

Here's how Emily feels about what she does, in her own words...

Being a mummy is the hardest but most wonderful job I’ve ever had. The hard can be so hard you want to pull off your ears and run away but the wonderful can be so wonderful that you laugh, cheer and sob and want to hold your child so close and never want to let go. I love my daughter and struggle with her too!

Owning my own business is somewhat similar. It is my passion and is my baby. This can be so much so, that my customers are not really customers but more daughters! Even if some are older than me! I want to protect them, shield them, strengthen them and then shake them until they realise their worth!

I run a dance fitness and wellbeing company and am passionate about women (not exclusively) realising their beauty, their worth and their potential.

Having 2 ‘babies’ (a 6 year old and a company) and a husband and trying to ‘run a home’ is hard. I often have the guilt that I’m not doing enough and failing in one area. It’s true, I physically cannot be the best mummy, wife, business women, chef, cleaner, friend and get enough sleep! Sometimes one of the spinning plates will drop, sometimes they are all on the floor! We got a cleaner which saved my marriage but I’m still working on how to keep the plates up, even if not spinning beautifully!

I’ve realised a massive thing is look after myself. If I’m not fuelled, I can’t do anything. I can look at the plates around me but do nothing about them. This is easier said than done though. I have found mindfulness, prayer, being boundaried about family time, and the odd spa day help!

Keep pedalling on! Remember sometimes prioritising 2 things and ticking them off is a win (even if you add 10 to your ‘to do’ list!) And something that always stuck with me was ‘yes to this, no to that!’ Always prioritise your family! Not just with words but action too.

Keep going you hero mummies! X

To follow her on Facebook go to www.facebook.com/whoopfitness/

Come back tomorrow for day 3 of Celebrating Mums in Business!

Time to Talk Mental Health – 7th February 2019

Post author:josheava
Post published:February 7, 2019
Post category:Uncategorized

As today is Time to Talk Mental Health, I felt this would be a good blog for me to write.

As someone who’s battled Depression and Anxiety for around 18 years, it’s a subject I’m more than familiar with. I’ve mostly kept on top of it by “talking”, to my husband, to friends and to counsellors. I also find writing stuff down helps, and just writing and being creative in general. So what better way to raise mental health awareness than to talk about it, write about it, blog about it...

I’ve read the statistics, as I’m sure you have, so I know how common it is in so many people’s lives. Most of you reading this will be able to relate in some way to what I’m saying. Whether you’re going through it, have been through it, or know someone who is.

The total confusion when depressions hits for the first time or the feeling of failure when you realise “it’s happening again!” The feeling of guilt when you see others with “real”, awful reasons to be depressed who seem strong and able to cope, while everything is going well in your life, yet even getting out of bed feels like the hardest thing in the world.

Sometimes it isn’t the big things in life that get to us the most. We go through bereavement, or a relationship breakdown, or a traumatic experience and people around us know about it. We feel it’s ok to be struggling, and people will check in.

It’s the silent, completely unseen mental health problems that I’m talking about. It’s when your kids are doing well, they’re sleeping at night, your marriage is good, you’ve got a lovely home, a car and a job you enjoy, but dropping your toast jam side down on the kitchen floor feels like the end of the world.

You don’t want to admit that you’re finding life hard, because from the outside it shouldn’t be. Yet every tiny thing that goes wrong feels like it’s crushing you from the inside out, and admitting it can feel like you’re the biggest moaner and failure you know!

You go on Facebook, post a photo of yourself with family or friends in the perfect setting, and wait for the likes to flood in. You feel good for about 5 minutes before scrolling through everyone else’s “perfect” photos and realising how unrealistic it all is! Sometimes there’s no concrete reason why you feel the way you do. Sometimes it literally just is an imbalance of chemicals.

Of course, outside influences do have an impact. Speaking as a woman and a mother, comparison is one of the worst contributors to our mental health problems. If we’re a working mum, we compare ourselves to the stay at home mum. If we’re a stay at home mum, we compare ourselves to the working mum, or another stay at home mum who’s doing it differently. If we’re single, we wish we had a family. If we’re struggling to have kids, we compare ourselves to those who have them. Am I spending enough time with my children? Should I be doing more? Am I not supporting my family enough if I’m not earning? Will my children be scarred for life because I am so tired from working and running a home that I snapped at them one too many times last week? There’s pressure from all sides, and that’s often just from ourselves, let alone others.

It’s hard to go anywhere without coming across an opinion about something. Everyone has opinions. Everyone wants to say their piece. Of course, there are things in this world that are obviously right and obviously wrong, but there are also opinions which aren’t facts, yet very often get treated as so; the ideas of someone who has a unique perspective. They’re going through what they’re going through. They’ve been through what they’ve been through. Their experience will never be the same as the next person’s.

What you’re going through can never be compared to anyone else. How you feel each day can never be compared to anybody else. We can all just live from our perspective and our experiences that shape us and grow us.

Since having our children my confidence has definitely dropped. A couple of years ago I never expected I’d have the confidence to be running my own business, but I’m doing it. Do I find it easy? Not always, no. Life isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s stronger to admit we need help, than to stay silent and pretend that everything’s fine.

If someone had told me 18 years ago when I’d just left home, some of the things I would go through, and some of the battles I’d face daily, I would never have thought I would write a public blog about it. I’ve always been a bottler… “I’m fine.” has come out of my mouth, or been shown on my face more times over the years than I can remember, when inside I’ve been crumbling. It becomes a default setting. Eventually, we have to get to a point where we’re honest with ourselves and with our loved ones.

Through all the ups and downs, I’ve pushed myself on the days I’ve felt strong enough, I’ve cried on the days I haven’t, I’ve opened up to others, some have understood, some haven’t. We live, we love, we learn from mistakes and we grow from each experience.

None of it’s easy, but we’re all doing our best, and that’s all we can do. We need to respect one another, help one another where we can, and never ever make someone feel like there’s something really wrong with them for the way they deal with a situation. We’ve all been made in a unique way. We all have something to give, and what we go through, good or bad, can be used to shape our future, as well as the future of others.

If you’re struggling, and nobody knows. Take that step. Tell someone. If you don’t feel you can tell friends or family, there are always places you can contact.

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/time-talk-day-2019

https://www.mind.org.uk

https://www.rethink.org

As mums/women in business, we are all in this together. I’ve joined so many amazing Facebook and Networking Groups where we can do just that, and it really helps. Showing vulnerablility is scary (trust me, I’m still in two minds about whether to publish this blog), but something you write about today could be the exact thing someone needs to hear right now. Even if it just shows them they’re not the only one going through it! Let’s support each other. Let’s raise awareness. It’s Time To Talk Mental Health.

*If you want me to talk to you more about my personal experiences or even put you in touch with counsellors I have used, I would be happy to help. Comment, or contact me through my Facebook page. Jo Shea VA

**I would like to take the time to thank my husband and my best friends, for always listening and supporting me. Although this is my business blog, I feel it would be wrong not to mention such a big part of my life when talking about such a personal subject to me, so I would also like to recognise my Christian faith in God and how He has a crucial part to play in my battles with mental health. I wouldn’t be writing this without any of it!